Stop Doing These 4 Things in Your Marriage

Stop Doing These 4 Things in Your Marriage

Every marriage is moving in one of two directions. You’re either growing closer together or being pulled apart.

There are four critical behaviors that quietly P.U.L.L. couples away from each other.

P - Pride
Pride says, “I’m right and you’re wrong.” Pride refuses to apologize and struggles to admit mistakes. But healthy marriages are built on humility. Sometimes the most powerful words you can say are, “I’m sorry.” Pride builds walls, but humility builds bridges. Humility moves you to own your own part in the problem, which in return, may cause your spouse to move closer to you.

U - Undermining
Undermining happens when you tear down your spouse with criticism, sarcasm, or disagreeing with them publicly, especially in front of others. It causes stress, insecurity, and feeling devalued. Instead of undermining your spouse, become their biggest supporter and protector. Use the "Sandwich Technique": When offering feedback, start with positive reinforcement, provide your suggestion, and end with a positive comment.There are four critical behaviors that quietly P.U.L.L. couples away from each other.

L - Lust

Lust pulls your heart and attention away from your spouse. Whether through pornography, inappropriate relationships, or entertaining fantasies about someone else, lust slowly erodes intimacy and can distort God’s good gift of sex. Do all that you can to free yourself from lust. It might be seeking out a trusted friend, pastor, or professional counselor.

L - Lying
Lies—big or small—damage the trust that marriage is built on. Lying and deceptive words reveal what’s inside your heart, and will discredit your integrity in the marriage. Honesty and transparency creates safety in a relationship. When couples choose truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, it strengthens their oneness.

The Bible speaks directly to these issues.
Philippians 2:3 reminds us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

And Ephesians 4:25 says, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor.”

When couples choose humility, encouragement, faithfulness, and honesty, they move closer together instead of being pulled apart.

So remember the acronym P.U.L.L.
Pride, Undermining, Lust, and Lying are four things that can quietly pull you away from your spouse.

Here’s a question to reflect on today:
Is there one of these four things that might be pulling on your marriage right now—and what step could you take today to move closer to your spouse instead?

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