We can all agree that our words matter. A healthy marriage is not only built upon respectful behavior, but it is also built upon the words spoken to one another.

Monty & Jeannine Mora

10/2/20233 min read

man and woman standing while looking each other near body of water
man and woman standing while looking each other near body of water

Your Words Matter

I think we all can agree that our words matter! Consider the following impact that words have on a relationship.

Our words are the most important form of communication.

Our words shape the course of a conversation.

Our words possess the power to create a positive or negative environment.

Our words can determine the trajectory of our marriage.

It’s so easy for a couple to speak negative words and tearing each other down, so we thought it would be good to put some positive communication tools in the marriage toolbox.

As you think back to the many conversations in your marriage, most likely, you can clearly remember the ones that have brought you closer together, and the ones that have pushed you apart. It’s interesting, because the ones that have the most impact are the COMPLIMENTS and COMPLAINTS. We’ve noticed that our words can filled with life and they can be charged with death.

There is a well known verse that you might have heard before and it's found in the Book of Wisdom. Proverbs 18:21 says that, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”

That verse alone is the reason why we wanted to share this message. Being that our words matter, we wanted to provide the three most important phrases in marriage. They are…I LOVE YOU, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, & THANK YOU.

These 3 phrases can make a marriage feel safe and secure. We believe these words can create a spirit of kindness in marriage.


This phrase is what we call “Intimate Language.” Those 3 little words are the foundation of any marriage. Do you remember the first time you spoke those words to your spouse? When this phrase is expressed with genuine love, it can boost your spouse’s confidence and security. Saying “I Love You” reaffirms your love for your spouse. It creates a micro intimate moment, even if it’s said in passing as you’re both walking out the door. Take the time every day to tell your spouse “I love you.” Life gets super busy - taking care of the kids, going to work, making dinner and the importance of saying "I Love You" takes a back seat.


This phrase is what we call “Apology Language.” Saying this places your spouse’s emotional well being above yourself. Without an apology, some marriage problems grow and they fall deeper into resentment. This is probably the most difficult phrase to use. Why do you think? (It takes humility and vulnerability). We all make mistakes in our marriage that has made our spouse feel hurt or disrespected. It's in these moments where it requires one spouse own their mistake and to ask for forgiveness. This creates a healthy marriage. Your marriage becomes a safe place and brings you closer. I’ve been told that the make up sex can be great as well!


This phrase is what we call “Gratitude Language.” Saying “Thank you” can also elevate the closeness and intimacy of a couple.

When we see our spouse do something meaningful in the home, it’s important to recognize their contribution to the marriage and say “Thank you for all you do to make our home comfortable.” As you go throughout your day to day rhythm, look for opportunities to say "Thank You" to your spouse.

Here's a question to consider: Which of these three phrases come fairly easy for you, and which ones do you need to work on?

We want to encourage every couple to be more intentional with their words by taking the "Word Challenge." Practice these three phrases in your marriage for the next 30 days : I Love You, Please Forgive Me, and Thank You.