This blog is a spin off a recent poll we did on social media that asked the question - “What aspects of the holiday season do you find the most challenging when trying to balance family?” Read more...

Monty & Jeannine Mora

10/13/20232 min read

man in black jacket standing near brown metal fence during night time
man in black jacket standing near brown metal fence during night time

Divvying Up Holiday Time

How does a couple divvy up holiday time with their loved ones? This a question asked from newlyweds to couples in their golden years. As the holidays approach, our desire is for every family member to get a "piece of the pie", when it comes to time well spent.

As the children grow older and the family begins to expand, a couple must learn to navigate the changing seasons. Families are always changing and evolving, so it will be on ongoing learning curve.

How does a marriage make the holidays the most “wonderful time of the year” and alleviate the stress?

Speaking of the “wonderful time of the year” there's a passage in Ecclesiastes 3, where Solomon is talking about the seasons and times. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens… and then in verse 4 he says, there is “A time to weep and a time to laugh…”

Solomon says there is a time for everything and every activity under heaven. Here are few holiday tips that might work for you and your spouse.

Three Holiday Tips

Holiday Tip #1 - COMMUNICATE. With an open mind and heart, be united in communication as a husband and wife. Make sure you’re both on the same page of how you divvy up the holiday time. Whatever you do, you and your spouse need to be united about how you will handle holiday get-togethers.

Begin the conversation early, BEFORE the holidays arrive. Communicate early with your extended family. As soon as you decide what you’re going to do, let your family members know sooner than later. Give them time to accept your decision and don’t let them guilt you into changing your plans. Don’t be afraid to say “No.”

Holiday Tip #2 - COMPROMISE. As a couple, find a middle ground that respects both partners desires and needs during the holiday season. If you are a newly married couple, this may be a good time to start a rotation of holidays each year or begin a tradition that allows you to “extend the holidays” to spend with extended family.

Here is an example.

You might want to celebrate the holidays before or after the actual holiday date. This could involve planning a gathering a day or the weekend before or after.

Another compromise is alternating the holidays with families each year. You might want to spend Thanksgiving with one side of the family and Christmas with the other then flip the next year. You might want to the keep New Year’s day flexible.

Perhaps, you might consider spending half days with each family on the actual Holiday. This works only if both families are in the same city or within an easy driving distance.

Holiday Tip #3 - CREATE NEW TRADITIONS. Recently we started a new tradition called Thanks-living. We celebrate with one side the family on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. We ask each family unit to prepare a soup and appetizer. After the delicious meal, we sit down and engage in a version of Painting With A Twist, where each family paints the same picture. The has been a new and fun holiday tradition!

Well, there you have it. Three holiday tips to “Sleigh the Holiday Stress.”

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