BUILDING A PRESSURE-PROOF MARRIAGE

Life Is Filled With Pressure Points

Author and speaker Nicky Gumbel quoted, “Don’t be afraid of pressure. Pressure is what transforms a lump of coal into a diamond.”

This quote is a reminder that people, just like us, face pressure points as a part of our everyday existence. Sometimes purpose comes dressed up in pressure-filled moments!!!

Take a diamond for example. A diamond is one of the most expensive and precious of gems. Diamonds form about 100 miles below the Earth’s surface, which provides the right amounts of pressure, time, & heat to transform carbon rock into diamond. The carbon rock must be placed under at least 435,113 pounds per square inch of pressure at a temperature of 752F degrees. Deep in the earth, with extreme PRESSURE, HEAT, & TIME - a diamond is made.

A diamond is the toughest of gems and a beautiful symbol of a marriage.

To become a "Diamond Marriage", a couple must willingly to grow through trials and pressures, allowing the Lord to shape and form the marriage.

Pressure has many faces. Perhaps you have been the recipient of parenting pressure, emotional pressure, health pressure, financial pressure, academic pressure, or athletic pressure.

There’s one type of pressure that we rarely talk about in marriage, which is the pressure point of marital grief. Marital grief is defined as “a fundamental action which cause trouble or distress.”

Marriages Experience Micro-Grief

Many don’t realize but marriages experience moments of micro-grief. This type of grief comes in the form of micro-moments such as failure, disappointments, arguments, rejection, and other marital discomforts.

For example, if we have a disagreement, and for some reason, it goes unresolved. That moment creates micro-grief. Inside of us there’s this sense of loss and discomfort. These micro-grief moments can be like tiny paper cuts that build up over time. And if not taken care of, they can turn into macro-grief. Here is where you see one spouse lose their wits. Why? A constant build-up of pressure.

I can promise you, if you don’t take the matter of pressure seriously, you are most likely pointed towards a path of a major marriage meltdown.

I agree with Nicky Gumbel - Pressure makes diamonds. But Pressure also makes dumb decisions. Some of us are a proud owner of a Kirby vacuum or a timeshare. Pressure can lead to unwise decision.

“Don’t let the pressure, pressure you into making a foolish decision.”

From a mere biological perspective - when a person is under pressure, your brain goes through various changes that affects your decision-making process. When the body is under stress, it reduces your ability to analyze and evaluate the best option.

Because life is filled w/pressure points, we need tools to manage the pressure. We’d like to offer one important tool when a couple is faced with pressure.

Let Pressure Point You To God's Purpose

Pressure can point you to a greater sense of purpose.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 - “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

As we fix our focus on a greater purpose, we are able to manage the pressure. Pressure is about fixing your focus. Paul says that our momentary troubles and pressures are filled with an eternal purpose, which is the glory of God! The pressure that God sends our way is good for us! Pressure has a divine way of moving us to make needed changes.

So, how good are you under pressure?

As a husband and wife, do you see pressure as an opposition or an opportunity? If you allow pressure to do its good work, you can build a "Diamond Marriage."